I always knew what Crohn's disease was. My grandmother had it. I knew it always made her sick, sometimes causing her to be hospitalized. Being the son of a father born in the late 60's, I always knew who Pearl Jam was. As a young child I remember listening to Ten with my father. I can remember him telling me that Mike McCreedy had the same disease as my grandmother, however since I was so young it remained little more than a footnote in my memory. Fifteen years later, I occasionally listened to Pearl Jam, every here and there. I listened to them now and again but I wouldn't say that I followed their music the way a fan would. Then my life began to change. I stopped doing all the things I loved: running, singing, spending time with my friends and family. Every morning I would lay in bed instead of getting up to go to class because something just felt wrong. I found myself getting sick all the time. It finally got to the point where I wasn't sleeping or eating because I was in too much pain to do either. I had dropped nearly twenty five pounds. I finally sought console from a doctor who alluded to gastrointestinal problems. He ordered a few tests and the results came back exactly how he thought they would. It was August of 2007 when I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. The disease I had known about all my life because of my grandmother, yet never took the time to learn about because I never thought it would affect me. My world was upside-down. I didn't really know what to believe in anymore. I needed something to hold on to because it felt like everything I was certain of in life had slowly led me astray. I needed something to believe in. It was at that time I remembered what my father told me about Mike so long ago. I began listening to Pearl Jam to keep me company during my time of tribulation. The messages conveyed within the songs, not only in lyrics, but in overall mood reached deep inside of me and gave me hope. When everything else I believed in faded, I looked to Mike and Pearl Jam as inspiration. It is a good possibility that at some points, Pearl Jam's music was the only thing that kept me holding on. By December of 2007 I was scheduled for surgery at the Cleveland Clinic. I was scheduled to have a triple bowel resection, most likely have four to five feet of small bowel removed. I remember laying in bed the night before, trying desperately to sleep. Completely restless, I turned to the only sanctuary I had known. I must have listened to Love Boat Captain damn near 200 times that night. At seven A.M. I drove to the hospital and prepared myself the best I could for whatever the outcome would be. Nearly two years later, I can say that my disease is almost in full remission. As Mike would most likely tell you, there's no such thing as normal when you have Crohn's disease. It always seems to sneak up on you at the most inopportune times. While there are still and always will be small complications, I am back to doing all the same things I used to love before I fell sick, running, singing, spending time with family and friends. I have dedicated myself unconditionally to the music and message of Pearl Jam. I know that Eddie wrote it about Johnny but man, if I can't relate. Anytime I need a reminder as to why I wake up in the morning, get out of bed, and go about my day, all I need to do is pop in Pearl Jam and listen to track #1. I've faced it, a life wasted, and I'm NEVER going back again. Thank you so much Pearl Jam.
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